Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you. – Exodus 20:12
Honoring your father and your mother is a familiar and for some people seems like a relatively easy commandment to follow. On one Sunday a year in the US people flock to buy cards, flowers, candy, and other gifts in celebration of a person that, for most, is easiest to love. Sentimental memories flood the day and though media we are encouraged to spend, spend, spend, on everything from cards to diamond jewelry.
But what does it mean to Honor? First of all call your mother. I know she has probably told you this before, so do it. But also know that this is part of honoring your mother as a ‘child’ who is traveling has the obligation of keeping his/her parents from worrying by keeping in touch. So what constitutes traveling? Does it matter? In the spirit of this, in my humble opinion, one could say that keeping the parents from worrying, check in from time to time.
Other requirement toward a parent includes not speaking arrogantly to or in away to shame a parent. No one loves hubris. As a parent and former teacher I couldn’t even count the number of times a fourteen or fifteen year old had reminded me or their parents in my presence that they knew so-so much more about the world than we did. If you are of this age, be warned-this feeling will pass. And if you have done this and not been corrected, you should know it because you are surrounded by love and someone with exceedingly more patience that I have. (I was thinking that I have shoes older than you and you should stop!)
Additionally and in the same vain, a child is not allowed to contradict a parent or disturb a their sleep. Obvious emergency situations not withstanding, a fast rule from my daughter’s youth, “Never wake a sleeping adult.” What does it mean to contradict? It is similar to the above mentions speaking arrogantly, but excludes of course any dealing with any wrongdoing. For example, while a child is required to obey their parent-it is within reason. A child is NOT required to do something that would be considered a sin or against Torah. (If this is a little ‘master of the obvious’ please excuse. I want to be sure to include this rather than risk misquoting.) In this vain, a child is also NOT required to marry someone- or not marry someone based on the parent’s preference.
A child is also required to say Kaddish for a parent during the period after they have passed and on the yahrzeit each year that follows. One of my friends has a mother that he never met because she passed away shortly after childbirth. So how does he honor her? The only ways that he can, he continues to say Kaddish for her on her yahrzeit. One can also continue to do charity in memory of a parent and study Torah, as he does. I’ve never seen him miss a Yizkor service. A good model in honoring a parent, if ever one was needed.
The Talmud compares honoring one’s parent to honoring G-d. I would like to honor my own mother with this post. I meant to post it on Mother’s Day, but distracted myself with other things. One of the friends of my youth once said that sometimes the thing that we least want to do is the thing we need to do most. So here it is, better late than never I suppose. In memory of a woman who in my few short years with her influenced me most,in Honor of the person who made me a person.
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
Monday, March 28, 2011
Passed agreements about Tznius
A “push up” bikini top for girls was recently in the news. Abercrombie and Fitch market the product, and that wouldn’t be so weird if the product were not literally for girls, little girls, starting at around age seven. Ick.
Passed the shock of parents and other concerned groups, shouldn’t Abercrombie and Fitch be asking who, which designer and which marketing wiz thought that this was a reasonable, nay, even good idea? I think the company should take a much, much closer look.
There maybe on going discussions and disagreements about what in particular is appropriate clothing based on any number of variables. But I think at some places in the road, there is common ground. And I think this might be it. Whether we agree with modest dress or not, and passed all arguments of the fault of the media and blaming parents and/or schools in general, I think most of us agree that sexualizing little girls is wrong.
The problem with a product like this according to Professor Gail Dines of Wheelock College is “It gets young girls to think about themselves in sexual ways before that’s developmentally appropriate.” And as if this were not problematic enough, the negative effects are not limited to girls according to Dines, “It sends out really bad signals to adult men about young girls being appropriate sexual objects, objects of sexual desire for young men.” (WHDH-TV3/25/2011)
First, let me say that I don’t want to give Abercrombie and Fitch any undue press. I think that would only further the insanity. What I would like is a solution or at least an answer. Perhaps parents and others would be willing to contact the company either via email @ https://abercrombie.custhelp.com or by visiting the manager of their local store. It may seem like these small acts do not amount to much, however, people who answer email and who work in stores have to be paid, generally by the hour, and you and twenty other people like you are going to cost the company time and money. If it cost enough money, perhaps they will find that marketing items to sexualize young girls is not only creepy and amoral, but not at all cost effective.
Additionally, since the publicity the company has removed the term “push up” from their website. The product, however, is still listed.
Passed the shock of parents and other concerned groups, shouldn’t Abercrombie and Fitch be asking who, which designer and which marketing wiz thought that this was a reasonable, nay, even good idea? I think the company should take a much, much closer look.
There maybe on going discussions and disagreements about what in particular is appropriate clothing based on any number of variables. But I think at some places in the road, there is common ground. And I think this might be it. Whether we agree with modest dress or not, and passed all arguments of the fault of the media and blaming parents and/or schools in general, I think most of us agree that sexualizing little girls is wrong.
The problem with a product like this according to Professor Gail Dines of Wheelock College is “It gets young girls to think about themselves in sexual ways before that’s developmentally appropriate.” And as if this were not problematic enough, the negative effects are not limited to girls according to Dines, “It sends out really bad signals to adult men about young girls being appropriate sexual objects, objects of sexual desire for young men.” (WHDH-TV3/25/2011)
First, let me say that I don’t want to give Abercrombie and Fitch any undue press. I think that would only further the insanity. What I would like is a solution or at least an answer. Perhaps parents and others would be willing to contact the company either via email @ https://abercrombie.custhelp.com or by visiting the manager of their local store. It may seem like these small acts do not amount to much, however, people who answer email and who work in stores have to be paid, generally by the hour, and you and twenty other people like you are going to cost the company time and money. If it cost enough money, perhaps they will find that marketing items to sexualize young girls is not only creepy and amoral, but not at all cost effective.
Additionally, since the publicity the company has removed the term “push up” from their website. The product, however, is still listed.
Thursday, March 10, 2011
An open letter to Jim Rizoli:
An open letter to Jim Rizoli:
I don’t readily answer ignorant matters such as these on the Internet or otherwise; I just don’t have that kind of time on my hands. But since you, Mr. Rizoli, asked to hear from the Jewish people on this matter I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are sincere. And here it is:
“THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JEWISH TAX”
Having said this let me explain a few things Mr. Rizoli. Kosher is a mitzvot or commandment for the Jewish people. The markings on prepared food is a kosher certification and let’s people who practice kosher know that this food is okay to eat or drink. It is NOT a tax. It is not a vehicle for sending monies to Israel. This ignorant accusation would be the equivalent to Jewish citizens complaining that restaurants serve fish on Fridays and then announcing that “they” are likely funneling their ill-gotten fish funds to the Vatican. It’s just silly, but I think Mr. Rizoli, you know it is silly and are simply seeking to inflame people and insight anger.
Further, Mr. Rizoli, you complain that some soaps have a certification mark as well. And they do. For the same reasons that the foods do, because people use these soaps to clean in their kosher kitchens and/or wash tablecloths napkins, dishes. Why? Because they want them to remain kosher. It is a common practice. The same applies for plastic wraps and foils. There are many, many available that DO NOT have this certification. This is also true of foods. Feel free to purchase them liberally Mr. Rizoli. However, your claim that this is how “they” get more money is a ridiculous one.
Rabbis and the certification companies they work for do get paid to supervise and inspect establishments. That is their job. Much like, Mr. Rizoli, you are paid for your work. And while there are many “help” type jobs in the world such as doctors, lawyers, nurses and teachers, it is unreasonable to assume those who participates in ‘helping’ jobs should be so very committed to improving the world as to also agree not to be paid for their work. Further, Mr. Rizoli, I feel I must tell you that other people who work for the food companies in question also get paid: Shipping clerks, mailroom personnel, cooks, canners, advertising execs and graphic designers. The list goes on and on. Shocking I know, but I feel I must inform you, Mr. Rizoli. There is a chance a your corner stores, your local book store, even religious ones, are paying people who work for them!
Your stuttering, stammering, claim that if a company doesn’t pay the message is “We’re gonna do something bad to you.” Well if by bad you mean you will lose the certification, then yes because the plant needs to be inspected and comply with particular rules. Your use of the word extortion is another matter. Is the USDA extorting money by using an inspection process? Are health departments “extorting” when they inspect routinely and insist that an establishment complies with code? And do you think that this cost is absorbed and not passed on to the consumer? Really? “They force the company to put this Jewish symbol” on a product is another mistaken claim. Food companies approach the certification company; fill out the appropriate paper work; and make an appointment.
The definition of ignorance is to be uneducated, unaware, and uninformed. Ignorance is conquered with knowledge much like fire can be quenched with water. So consider yourself informed Mr. Rozoli and now that you are, you are also responsible, and in the future even culpable.
*You can contact personally Mr Rizoli at 508 875 2043
I don’t readily answer ignorant matters such as these on the Internet or otherwise; I just don’t have that kind of time on my hands. But since you, Mr. Rizoli, asked to hear from the Jewish people on this matter I am going to give you the benefit of the doubt and assume you are sincere. And here it is:
“THERE IS NO SUCH THING AS JEWISH TAX”
Having said this let me explain a few things Mr. Rizoli. Kosher is a mitzvot or commandment for the Jewish people. The markings on prepared food is a kosher certification and let’s people who practice kosher know that this food is okay to eat or drink. It is NOT a tax. It is not a vehicle for sending monies to Israel. This ignorant accusation would be the equivalent to Jewish citizens complaining that restaurants serve fish on Fridays and then announcing that “they” are likely funneling their ill-gotten fish funds to the Vatican. It’s just silly, but I think Mr. Rizoli, you know it is silly and are simply seeking to inflame people and insight anger.
Further, Mr. Rizoli, you complain that some soaps have a certification mark as well. And they do. For the same reasons that the foods do, because people use these soaps to clean in their kosher kitchens and/or wash tablecloths napkins, dishes. Why? Because they want them to remain kosher. It is a common practice. The same applies for plastic wraps and foils. There are many, many available that DO NOT have this certification. This is also true of foods. Feel free to purchase them liberally Mr. Rizoli. However, your claim that this is how “they” get more money is a ridiculous one.
Rabbis and the certification companies they work for do get paid to supervise and inspect establishments. That is their job. Much like, Mr. Rizoli, you are paid for your work. And while there are many “help” type jobs in the world such as doctors, lawyers, nurses and teachers, it is unreasonable to assume those who participates in ‘helping’ jobs should be so very committed to improving the world as to also agree not to be paid for their work. Further, Mr. Rizoli, I feel I must tell you that other people who work for the food companies in question also get paid: Shipping clerks, mailroom personnel, cooks, canners, advertising execs and graphic designers. The list goes on and on. Shocking I know, but I feel I must inform you, Mr. Rizoli. There is a chance a your corner stores, your local book store, even religious ones, are paying people who work for them!
Your stuttering, stammering, claim that if a company doesn’t pay the message is “We’re gonna do something bad to you.” Well if by bad you mean you will lose the certification, then yes because the plant needs to be inspected and comply with particular rules. Your use of the word extortion is another matter. Is the USDA extorting money by using an inspection process? Are health departments “extorting” when they inspect routinely and insist that an establishment complies with code? And do you think that this cost is absorbed and not passed on to the consumer? Really? “They force the company to put this Jewish symbol” on a product is another mistaken claim. Food companies approach the certification company; fill out the appropriate paper work; and make an appointment.
The definition of ignorance is to be uneducated, unaware, and uninformed. Ignorance is conquered with knowledge much like fire can be quenched with water. So consider yourself informed Mr. Rozoli and now that you are, you are also responsible, and in the future even culpable.
*You can contact personally Mr Rizoli at 508 875 2043
Monday, February 28, 2011
Cheshbon Hanefesh, an account of the soul
I took an IQ test once, well likely more than once, but as an adult and likely for the last time. I saw it advertised in a local paper as part of a research study and who doesn’t want to contribute to furthering science? Okay, I was grad student, predictably low on cash, and they were offering money for subjects.
At any rate taking an IQ test was a lengthy and somewhat boring affair. During one of the breaks I got up and made coffee, as we were seated in a break area. I did ask first. The interviewer said, “yes.” But she was looking at me at lot like a bug under glass. And I started to wonder what it was they were REALLY measuring. As in so many blind studies, researches often give misleading information to the subjects so as not to influence their behavior. Hmmmmm.
When I was finished I received a paper with information and a phone number. I could schedule an appointment and pick up my test results. Admittedly, I was curious. At my next meeting the doctor told me the ‘secret number’-which was satisfying. He also mentioned that the test was not valid. (Okay, I already mentioned that it was arduously long and arguable more than somewhat boring, did I not? Perhaps I should have also mentioned that arduously long and arguably boring tasks are not my strong suit.) He also mentioned that he thought I was an underachiever. My thought at first was, “Gee I could have saved us both a lot of time an effort!” But I held my tongue. Finally, I thought ‘okay I’ll bite’ and asked, “What makes you think so?”
It seem that it was my job, I was a high school teacher at the time, and my level of education, I had a Masters. Seems my numbers reflected I could have done better. My first thought was maybe this process was invalid on a number of levels! A reversal of logic and the question- “Is it possible I am too competent as a teacher?” - made him smirk, but I couldn’t help, but notice he didn’t answer. Education was another matter. When my daughter was about seven years old, I was invited to the Ph D program at my University. And while I would have liked to stay under different circumstances, mine were that I had a little girl at home who would never, ever. be little again. And I already had a full time job. I told my very understanding advisor that I just wanted to go home…
In retrospect, it occurs to me that what one person thinks is good for me cannot stand up to decisions I make for myself. How could this test know what it is I truly wanted in my life? Do I ever wish that I had finished that last program? Sure, but not at that expense. No one ever dies wishing they had spent more time away from their children, do they?
Similarly, it is a good idea to take our own spiritual inventory, (and maybe not just in the month of Elul.) And, like my helpful, friendly, if mislead, psychologist friend, it is also not such a good idea to take someone else’s. (If one is being honest, as well as human, there should be plenty to work with.) Consider your relationship to G-d. Consider your relationship to fellow humans.
What do you need? That’s right you. Are there mitzvots you want to undertake? Is there a spiritual need you have not answered? Could you be a better parent? Spouse? Perhaps keeping a journal or a small notebook would help each of us to weight, first, where we are, against, where we want to be and to create some decisive, concrete goals and bench marks along the way. If you get overwhelmed, perhaps the best idea is to try one thing at a time. When you feel like it’s on track move to the next. Knowing what one needs to do is half of the solution. Only we know when we are truly “achieving.”
At any rate taking an IQ test was a lengthy and somewhat boring affair. During one of the breaks I got up and made coffee, as we were seated in a break area. I did ask first. The interviewer said, “yes.” But she was looking at me at lot like a bug under glass. And I started to wonder what it was they were REALLY measuring. As in so many blind studies, researches often give misleading information to the subjects so as not to influence their behavior. Hmmmmm.
When I was finished I received a paper with information and a phone number. I could schedule an appointment and pick up my test results. Admittedly, I was curious. At my next meeting the doctor told me the ‘secret number’-which was satisfying. He also mentioned that the test was not valid. (Okay, I already mentioned that it was arduously long and arguable more than somewhat boring, did I not? Perhaps I should have also mentioned that arduously long and arguably boring tasks are not my strong suit.) He also mentioned that he thought I was an underachiever. My thought at first was, “Gee I could have saved us both a lot of time an effort!” But I held my tongue. Finally, I thought ‘okay I’ll bite’ and asked, “What makes you think so?”
It seem that it was my job, I was a high school teacher at the time, and my level of education, I had a Masters. Seems my numbers reflected I could have done better. My first thought was maybe this process was invalid on a number of levels! A reversal of logic and the question- “Is it possible I am too competent as a teacher?” - made him smirk, but I couldn’t help, but notice he didn’t answer. Education was another matter. When my daughter was about seven years old, I was invited to the Ph D program at my University. And while I would have liked to stay under different circumstances, mine were that I had a little girl at home who would never, ever. be little again. And I already had a full time job. I told my very understanding advisor that I just wanted to go home…
In retrospect, it occurs to me that what one person thinks is good for me cannot stand up to decisions I make for myself. How could this test know what it is I truly wanted in my life? Do I ever wish that I had finished that last program? Sure, but not at that expense. No one ever dies wishing they had spent more time away from their children, do they?
Similarly, it is a good idea to take our own spiritual inventory, (and maybe not just in the month of Elul.) And, like my helpful, friendly, if mislead, psychologist friend, it is also not such a good idea to take someone else’s. (If one is being honest, as well as human, there should be plenty to work with.) Consider your relationship to G-d. Consider your relationship to fellow humans.
What do you need? That’s right you. Are there mitzvots you want to undertake? Is there a spiritual need you have not answered? Could you be a better parent? Spouse? Perhaps keeping a journal or a small notebook would help each of us to weight, first, where we are, against, where we want to be and to create some decisive, concrete goals and bench marks along the way. If you get overwhelmed, perhaps the best idea is to try one thing at a time. When you feel like it’s on track move to the next. Knowing what one needs to do is half of the solution. Only we know when we are truly “achieving.”
Sunday, February 6, 2011
Jewish Unity- Enacting Ahavas Yisrael
How often do we bicker over our differences? Is it so offensive when someone doesn’t agree with us that we MUST resort to name calling and disparaging remarks? Perhaps the later is in part the result of an electronic world in which we can say nearly anything without having to face a person, and additionally, can choose to surround ourselves with people whose comments only agree with our stand. In the real world, after all, don’t we count ourselves lucky to be told by a friend, privately and tactfully, that we may have made an error, if only to correct it.
I’ve heard it said that, “All those who are more observant than me are fanatics, all those less observant than me, heretics.” And who hasn’t lived this? And before you get too comfortable, thinking that, after all you are not really religious-so it can’t be you, let me remind you it goes both ways!
In my personal experience in the past we have been criticized as being “too religious” by members who knew of my husband’s background and his Orthodox smecah. Although he is very careful to tell people what the laws are and what one should do to prepare for particular life events, he is gentle with people. One of his favorite remarks is “I’m a teacher, not a preacher.” We regularly have a people with a number diverse practices, degrees of observance, if you will.
On the other hand judgments go the other way, too. More recently, I was asked, in a private email of course, not to comment on a page because I am not an Orthodox Jew (and hence, it was later mentioned not a “real” Jew). Also, my husband was disparaged as was my shul, which was referred to as, “Temple Beth El Shabbos Desecrator.” I could wax on, but who wants that? We all have our tale to tell. Hillel said, “What is hateful to thyself do not do to another. That is the whole law, the rest is Commentary.” It sounds so simple and yet…
Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to have debates about halaka and discussions about minigs, but discussions and intelligent argument are not the same as bandying about inflammatory remarks or name calling.
It may seem like a long look at one subject, but that’s because I think solving this problem would go a long way to solving issues of unity. It is hard to make a conscious decision to fight fair, especially when in the back of ones mind they are holding on to the idea that “we are right”! Try to put it down.There maybe more than one right approach for some things.Tomorrow the person you are disagreeing with about a kipa could be wearing one!!!
One thing we can agree on is that we are all Jewish and are commanded to “love a fellow Jew.” One way to do that is to speak to each other respectfully and try to answer our differences tactfully. It is not a slight to our own beliefs to listen to an others and share our point of view without tearing anyone down.
I’ve heard it said that, “All those who are more observant than me are fanatics, all those less observant than me, heretics.” And who hasn’t lived this? And before you get too comfortable, thinking that, after all you are not really religious-so it can’t be you, let me remind you it goes both ways!
In my personal experience in the past we have been criticized as being “too religious” by members who knew of my husband’s background and his Orthodox smecah. Although he is very careful to tell people what the laws are and what one should do to prepare for particular life events, he is gentle with people. One of his favorite remarks is “I’m a teacher, not a preacher.” We regularly have a people with a number diverse practices, degrees of observance, if you will.
On the other hand judgments go the other way, too. More recently, I was asked, in a private email of course, not to comment on a page because I am not an Orthodox Jew (and hence, it was later mentioned not a “real” Jew). Also, my husband was disparaged as was my shul, which was referred to as, “Temple Beth El Shabbos Desecrator.” I could wax on, but who wants that? We all have our tale to tell. Hillel said, “What is hateful to thyself do not do to another. That is the whole law, the rest is Commentary.” It sounds so simple and yet…
Don’t get me wrong, it is wonderful to have debates about halaka and discussions about minigs, but discussions and intelligent argument are not the same as bandying about inflammatory remarks or name calling.
It may seem like a long look at one subject, but that’s because I think solving this problem would go a long way to solving issues of unity. It is hard to make a conscious decision to fight fair, especially when in the back of ones mind they are holding on to the idea that “we are right”! Try to put it down.There maybe more than one right approach for some things.Tomorrow the person you are disagreeing with about a kipa could be wearing one!!!
One thing we can agree on is that we are all Jewish and are commanded to “love a fellow Jew.” One way to do that is to speak to each other respectfully and try to answer our differences tactfully. It is not a slight to our own beliefs to listen to an others and share our point of view without tearing anyone down.
Sunday, January 30, 2011
Pray for Help, but Swim for Home!
There is a Midrash that one of my student’s once proudly repeated for me. It went something like this: There is a man in a small rowboat and big wave comes tips it over and it sinks. The man begins to pray. Shortly, a man in a fishing boat comes by an offers to help the man aboard.
“No, no,” says the man, “I’m praying for G-d to save me and I am sure he will.”
So the fisherman shrugs his shoulders and the boat goes away. The man has been treading water for quite some time and he is beginning to tire, when a sailboat comes by. The party on the sailboat offers to take the man aboard and sail him to the safety of the shore.
“No, no,” the man says, “I have faith that G-d will save me…” and he continues to tread water.
As he is treading water and the waves start to rise. A dingy comes by flinging and dipping in the waves of the impending storm. When the dingy stops a man on board offers him a ride to shore. Predictably the man declines. As the storm rages the man goes under and drowns. When the man appears before G-d he says, “I had faith. I believed in you. And I prayed and prayed. Why didn’t you save me?”
And G-d replies, “Well, I sent you three boats!”
I had an acquaintance as an undergrad in college. She was a born again Christian and was in recovery from drug use. She told the story over and over about how “the J man” had saved her and changed her life. (I think the story was designed and repeated to encourage us all to join her in this newfound faith.) Till finally in exasperation, a mutual friend said, “Yeah, I think stopping smoking crack and hanging around with drug dealers didn’t hurt anything either.”
This sounds like a harsh indictment and truly I was glad for and impressed at my classmates ability to not only stay off drugs, and to completely change her life around, including attending college. (“Who is strong? He who subdues his passions.”) And I have to say that I do believe in G-d’s hand in all things and the power of prayer, but sometimes we also have to be responsible for our choices, our free will, another gift from G-d. It is an ongoing paradox; we have free will and we have Divine determinism. We have to help ourselves in our development, in our lifestyle, and take on some personal responsibility. Not everyone starts out on an even playing field; this is understood. But as adults, young and old, we face challenges and we choose how to respond to them. G-d allows us opportunities. And we decide what to make of them.
“No, no,” says the man, “I’m praying for G-d to save me and I am sure he will.”
So the fisherman shrugs his shoulders and the boat goes away. The man has been treading water for quite some time and he is beginning to tire, when a sailboat comes by. The party on the sailboat offers to take the man aboard and sail him to the safety of the shore.
“No, no,” the man says, “I have faith that G-d will save me…” and he continues to tread water.
As he is treading water and the waves start to rise. A dingy comes by flinging and dipping in the waves of the impending storm. When the dingy stops a man on board offers him a ride to shore. Predictably the man declines. As the storm rages the man goes under and drowns. When the man appears before G-d he says, “I had faith. I believed in you. And I prayed and prayed. Why didn’t you save me?”
And G-d replies, “Well, I sent you three boats!”
I had an acquaintance as an undergrad in college. She was a born again Christian and was in recovery from drug use. She told the story over and over about how “the J man” had saved her and changed her life. (I think the story was designed and repeated to encourage us all to join her in this newfound faith.) Till finally in exasperation, a mutual friend said, “Yeah, I think stopping smoking crack and hanging around with drug dealers didn’t hurt anything either.”
This sounds like a harsh indictment and truly I was glad for and impressed at my classmates ability to not only stay off drugs, and to completely change her life around, including attending college. (“Who is strong? He who subdues his passions.”) And I have to say that I do believe in G-d’s hand in all things and the power of prayer, but sometimes we also have to be responsible for our choices, our free will, another gift from G-d. It is an ongoing paradox; we have free will and we have Divine determinism. We have to help ourselves in our development, in our lifestyle, and take on some personal responsibility. Not everyone starts out on an even playing field; this is understood. But as adults, young and old, we face challenges and we choose how to respond to them. G-d allows us opportunities. And we decide what to make of them.
Wednesday, January 26, 2011
You shall not bear false witness against your neighbor.
Number nine of the BIG ten, the most universally known of the commandments, or statements, since there are, after all, 613 commandments. And number nine sounds simple enough doesn’t it? A command that you wont “lie on” someone, as we used to say as kids.
While teaching, one of my friends gave an example of bearing false witness that went something like this:
“What if the window as broken and the Rabbi came and asked ‘Who broke the window?’”
“Assume Josh was standing near and window. And the window was broken, but you didn’t see Josh break the window. Then you cannot say, ‘Josh broke the window.’ Understand?”
One of the other students, a young girl, piped up, “What if we THINK Josh broke the window?”
“If you didn’t see it, then you can’t tell the Rabbi that it was him,” the teacher answered.
“What if I saw Josh and he was really mad that morning?” the young girl persisted.
“If you tell that it was him and you didn’t see it, no. That would be bearing false witness.” And so on.
Toward the end of the discussion, the girl cocked her head in thought for a moment. She recalled that the kitchen window in the synagogue had been broken some months ago. It was found to be an act of vandalism. The police had been involved. Having put together this teaching example and an actual occurance she asked, “Was Josh the one that broke the kitchen window?”
We laughed a little bit about it afterward. “Why is she so interested in believing that Josh broke a window?” The teacher asked aloud. I think the answer and the incident goes a long, long way toward a deeper understanding of the commandment not to bear false witness. The experience says something on a larger scale about our make up, our human nature, that makes us SO inclind to want to blame; even when presented with information that the story was not true-from the original source-the little girl wanted to find her friend guilty. Or at least press hard enough and give enough unfavorable information, for someone else to…
Pehaps that is why we are also reminded to “judge everyone favorably”. Because we so NEED to be reminded.
While teaching, one of my friends gave an example of bearing false witness that went something like this:
“What if the window as broken and the Rabbi came and asked ‘Who broke the window?’”
“Assume Josh was standing near and window. And the window was broken, but you didn’t see Josh break the window. Then you cannot say, ‘Josh broke the window.’ Understand?”
One of the other students, a young girl, piped up, “What if we THINK Josh broke the window?”
“If you didn’t see it, then you can’t tell the Rabbi that it was him,” the teacher answered.
“What if I saw Josh and he was really mad that morning?” the young girl persisted.
“If you tell that it was him and you didn’t see it, no. That would be bearing false witness.” And so on.
Toward the end of the discussion, the girl cocked her head in thought for a moment. She recalled that the kitchen window in the synagogue had been broken some months ago. It was found to be an act of vandalism. The police had been involved. Having put together this teaching example and an actual occurance she asked, “Was Josh the one that broke the kitchen window?”
We laughed a little bit about it afterward. “Why is she so interested in believing that Josh broke a window?” The teacher asked aloud. I think the answer and the incident goes a long, long way toward a deeper understanding of the commandment not to bear false witness. The experience says something on a larger scale about our make up, our human nature, that makes us SO inclind to want to blame; even when presented with information that the story was not true-from the original source-the little girl wanted to find her friend guilty. Or at least press hard enough and give enough unfavorable information, for someone else to…
Pehaps that is why we are also reminded to “judge everyone favorably”. Because we so NEED to be reminded.
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